Posted in Saturday Smiles

An Oak Ridge Boys kind of smile!

Sometimes, the reality of a situation doesn’t line up with your expectations. For instance, the front man at the concert is funny, full of jokes, and just out there. The others are quieter, less prone to joking around. So, you expect the front man to be the funny man. But,in the case of the Oak Ridge Boys, you’d be wrong. In that bunch, you’ve got to watch out for the quiet thinkers in the group. Mainly one of them. The head man. The president of the company. The ACE. So, on yet another snowy, icy night, here are some smiles, courtesy of Duane Allen.

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s butt anymore. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run anywhere and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so. Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:

  1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
  3. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
  6. It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.
  7. Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
  8. I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.
  9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
  10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
  11. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
  12. The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.
  13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.
  14. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
  15. It’s not hard to meet expenses . . . They’re everywhere.
  16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter .. . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m “here after”.
  18. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.
  20. Have I sent this message to you before…or did I get it from you?
Duane Allen

Love ya, Duane! But I’m keeping my eye on you, sir!

(If you like these tidbits, you can follow Duane on Twitter, Gab, MeWe, and Facebook!)

Posted in Blogger's World, Saturday Smiles

Saturday Smiles

While Ogden Nash entitled this poem “A Word to Husbands,” I think that it could safely be renamed “A Word to All” especially in light of my last article, A Word Fitly Spoken. While it makes us smile, let us hope it also makes us think!

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.